Book Review of ‘Smashed Squashed Splattered Chewed Chunked and Spewed’

Smashed Squashed Splattered Chewed Chunked and Spewed,
Written By: Lance Carbuncle
Published By: Lance Carbuncle (VBW, Self-Published), Tampa, Florida, 2007, 267 pages, softcover
ISBN 978-1-60264-043-6

Smashed Squashed Splattered Chewed Chunked and Spewed is a drunken, psychedelic joyride for those of us with a really warped sense of humour”

As an unmarried, 35 year old man who lives in his mother’s basement, you’d think he has enough problems already. The added bonus of being unemployed, single and a having a medical condition that causes blackouts, is definitely the icing on the proverbial ‘crap-chute cake’.
Then the poor man’s basset hound Idjit Galoot runs off just before he and his mother move to Florida.
As he makes his way to Florida with his cousin Denny in the moving truck and then back again to his home town to rescue his dog, he makes friends with many ‘off the wall’ people and gets himself into crazy-ass situations.
During this time he also has strange dreams about Idjit Galoot and some other characters he has met up with along his road-trip. In these bizarre dreams, his dog talks to him, advises him and gives him direction.

Smashed Squashed Splattered Chewed Chunked and Spewed:
In the beginning of the book, I pitied the main character because he seemed like such a gloomy and useless mass of flesh. He lived off his mother’s charity for goodness sake! As I continued reading, I found that his devotion to his treasured dog was very moving.
The crazy situations that he goes through, is involved in and the people that his character entangles himself with, are certainly the stuff of a talented writer’s imagination.
This is the first book that I have read that reminded me of teenage brothers growing up together in a turbulent, non-religious household. I know there aren’t any ‘brother’ characters in Lance’s story, but much of the verbal-jousting in the dialog was very reminiscent of just that, for me anyhow.
I was very entertained my Smashed Squashed Splattered Chewed Chunked and Spewed but I think that one needs to have a really twisted sense of humour and a very open mind if they are going to enjoy this book.
It contains a fair amount of cursing, some explicit material and some otherwise disturbing content. For some, the former would be a bad thing, but for me it was actually hilarious and I seriously laughed out loud at the more ‘colourful’ parts of the dialog.
If you are looking for a book that takes you on a noble, if somewhat absurd adventure that entertains and surprises, make sure you pick up a copy of this book!

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦ (7 out of 10 Diamonds) – I really enjoyed it


Link to the Author’s Website:
Link to the Publishing Website:


6 thoughts on “Book Review of ‘Smashed Squashed Splattered Chewed Chunked and Spewed’

  1. ************************************************************************
    Thank you for the nice review. In case anybody is interested in Smashed, I do sell signed copies through my website,, for $12.50 (includes S and H). It is cheaper than what you will pay through Amazon or and you get a signed copy.

    By the way, please keep an eye out for my next novel, Grundish and Askew, which is being released by Vicious Books in early to mid 2009.


  2. Yes J. Kaye, it is a very ‘different’ story :) Some might even say it is bizarre.
    I suppose it depends on each person’s individual limits, likes and dislikes.

    If you’d like to read some of the ‘colourful’ quotes from the book just let me know and I can send them to you.
    I didn’t want to post them publicly on my blog because I would have to have an adult rating.

  3. Nice review! The book definitely sounds like something I would enjoy. I’ll have to keep it in mind and add it to my longgg “must get this” list. :)

  4. Thanks Lauren. I’m glad it has captured your interest! :)
    I know eh? The pile of books that I would one day love to have…I would have to buy a second house to store them all lol ;)

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